9 Reasons People Give for Not Writing Thank You Notes

I polled my friends and family to find out why they do not write handwritten thank-you notes. 

Below you will find their honest responses.

Most of these excuses don’t hold up! What do you think?

I share my tips on what they can do if they decide to write a thank-you note. 

After all, a thank-you note for a gift can usually be written in less than five minutes.

1. My Handwriting Is Not Legible.

Try writing slower to write legible words.

Another suggestion is to print instead of writing in cursive.

What would your grandma think if she gave you a $100 gift for your birthday, but you can’t manage to write a legible thank you note?

2. People Do Not Send Thank You Notes Anymore.

I receive and send thank you note cards, but I’m just one person.  

For further evidence, check out the card section at a retail store. You will find individual “Thank You” greeting cards or boxed sets. Retailers sell what people buy. If no one were buying them, stores would stop selling them.

Is it really possible that the thank-you card industry is fueled by people that have good intentions but don’t get around to writing thank-you notes?

3. I Am Lazy.

Well, I don’t have much to say about this excuse.

You’ll have to choose not to be lazy to get that thank-you note written.

4. I Can’t Find Their Address.

Finding addresses can be challenging, but you are in luck!

Asking someone for their address or hand-delivering the thank you note are OK options. 

Or you can read my eight tips for tracking down addresses.

You could also send a thank you text message or email if you feel uncomfortable getting their address. 

And don’t make the mistake of asking your boss for their home address.

5. Stamps Are Too Expensive.

If you are mailing just one note, this is a poor excuse. You probably have enough loose change in your car or the bottom of your purse to cover the price of a stamp.

Of course, you will need to make an effort to purchase a stamp at a local Post Office. However, at some grocery stores, you can buy stamps in the checkout lane. 

For large events such as weddings, graduations, or baby showers, the cost of stamps should be factored into the budget for the event. Plan ahead.

Also, it is also very likely that you received some cash gifts. You could use some of that cash to pay for stamps (and cards).

6. I Don’t Know How To Write A Thank You Note.

You can learn to write a thank you note. Remember, the goal is to say thank you in your own words.

If you have never written one before, there is a first time for everything!

Once you write a few and get some confidence, the process will feel more manageable. You may enjoy it!

Read How to write a good thank you note

7. People Do Not Expect to Receive Thank You Notes Anymore.

While some people do not expect a thank-you note, that’s not a good reason not to express gratitude. 

What if they do expect a thank you note? They may take you off their gift list if you do not send a thank-you note! Do you want to risk it? Remember that people like to be recognized.

Also, I know someone that keeps invitations to graduation parties and weddings on their refrigerator until they receive a thank-you note. 

8. I Have A Ton To Write and Feel Too Overwhelmed to Even Start.

After your wedding or graduation, you may have 25, 50, or even 200 notes to write.

This is a lot, but with a plan, you can write them all without feeling overwhelmed. Writing them in small batches will help. 

Read: How to Write 100 Thank You Notes Without Feeling Overwhelmed

9. I Don’t Have The Time.

We make time for things that we consider important. For example, decide that writing the thank-you note is a priority and the time will appear.

To make the time, cut out a leisure activity for fifteen minutes. Could you scroll less on your phone or skip a Netflix binge? 

Read Next: Husband Refuses To Write Thank You Notes. Should The Wife Write Them for Him?

Website | + posts

Heidi Bender is a writer and author who founded Tons of Thanks. Her goal is to help people write thank you notes by providing  examples examples and tips. She is the author of A Modern Guide to Writing Thank-You Notes.