Have you ever been asked to address a thank card envelope when arriving at a bridal or baby shower? How did you feel about this?
Older generations are more likely to be upset by the request than younger generations as they have different expectations.
Sometimes the addressed envelopes are justified as they will be used in a game later. One or two envelopes will be pulled from the basket as “winners.” Then you will be given a random prize that you may or may not want!
Reactions to being asked to address an envelope can greatly vary. Some people think this is a great idea, and other people hate it. Sure, it will save the bride or the soon-to-be parent time later, but is it worth it?
The Emily Post family says, “It’s tacky to have guests pre-address their own thank-you notes, no matter how “efficient” that might seem.
Also, some will be glad to know they are getting a thank-you note and will happily put their name on an envelope. You better follow through if you decide to go this route! People’s expectation of receiving a note will be even higher than usual since they’ve already addressed the envelope for you.
While Some May Be Okay With It, There Will Be Others That Are Put Off by the Request
Here are a couple of comments I received about addressing the thank you card envelope:
“I hate, hate, hate when I’m asked to address my own thank you card. It feels cheap and lazy, and I always want to say, “you figured out how to send me an invitation so you could get a present from me. Don’t you still have my address?”
“While I do appreciate receiving thank you notes, I don’t feel as warm when I get a thank you note addressed to me in my own handwriting. I’ve been to baby showers and wedding showers where it is requested that you write your address on an envelope. While this is an efficient solution to my biggest problem with writing thank you notes (assembling addresses), it still feels somewhat cheesy to get an envelope addresses in your own hand. “
It can be weird to get mail addressed in your handwriting. When it arrives, it may seem like you mailed it to yourself. There is a disconnect when the handwriting on the outside doesn’t match the handwriting on the inside.
Some People Will Think You Are Lazy
When people are presented with a blank envelope at a baby shower or bridal shower, someone will think that you’re lazy. Being lazy is one reason people give for not writing thank-you notes, so maybe you are okay with the lazy label.
There will be guests who do not want to participate and feel offended but don’t want to be rude and will likely play along even if they hate it. They might grumble to your mother about it too.
However, others will find it a great idea to save the bride-to-be or expecting mother a little time when they write the thank-you notes for the gifts.
But What About the Addresses?
You or the hostess should have the addresses already from sending out invitations to the shower. Be organized and have your return address labels and stamps nearby as well.
You may have to ask the person if you are stuck on an address. Or if it’s your mom’s friend, ask your mom for the friend’s address.
Also, you can check out these tips on finding addresses. Or sign up for the free online address book at Postable.com. Then provide people with a link to your address book, and they can enter their address.
If invitations were not mailed and finding addresses feels like too much of a barrier, or if you are not going to send any handwritten thank-you notes no matter what, you can at least send a thank-you message via Facebook Messenger or a text message.
But Doing This Saves So Much Time!
How long does it take you to address and put a stamp on an envelope? Not long when you have the addresses organized.
Be organized and have your return address labels and stamps nearby as well.
I’m Not Organizing My Own Shower – I Didn’t Know That Was Going to Happen:
Tell the organizers upfront if you don’t want people to address an envelope. For example, say, “I don’t want to ask people to address an envelope.”
If they try to talk you into it, resist! Maybe they did this at their shower. Kindly share that you’d rather take on the task yourself.
What Do You Think?
I recommend not asking people to address their envelopes at a baby or bridal shower. It’s not worth the risk of offending those that hate this idea.
However, when I attended a shower where the request is made, I will comply without making stink about it.
Read Next: The 5 Times When Handwritten Thank You Cards Should Still Be Written
